"So, you want to cook pasta, you have no sense of time – or even a kitchen timer – and you've never learnt how to tell if your pasta's al dente (ie throw it at a wall and see if it sticks). You may be the one person on earth who needs the Al Dente Operatic Pasta Timer. It's a pasta timer in the shape of a little man, which has an inbuilt water-activated timer. When the water has been boiling long enough, the timer sings with an electronic computer voice. It sings opera. After 7 minutes, it sings The Triumphal March from Aida; after 9 minutes, The Chorus of Hebrew Slaves, from Nabucco, and after 11 minutes La Donna e Movile from Rigoletto. Here at Landfill Towers, we like fresh pasta that cooks in three minutes. Guess it would be soggy."Check out the rest of the, er, winners over here.